It is overcast today....the air is damp and clean with yesterday's rain...the pavement still bears the signs of the storm...leaves and branches lie in disarray and my roses are heavy with droplets, a bit brow beaten by the ceaseless wind that carried so much stuff into the garden. I have opened all of the windows, letting the now soft breeze toy with the curtains...small gusts that remind you that not long ago they were part of something bigger...the passing storm.
Birds are out and about surveying as I do the changes, since Autumn's first storm. Today, I am reminded to reaffirm myself that "this too shall pass"...that life is in constant change, and that I can overcome life's little obstacles...
I was able to test this ability this morning....As I went to drive Gio to school, my little jeep would not start. I sat in disbelief, as the starter cranked, but my engine just would not catch...seemingly the gas was not getting to spark, and other than making some futile attempts to turn over, it would not run.
Sitting there I felt so useless and alone...Gio, had to leave so that he could catch a bus, and I sat there thinking "what do I do next?".....I know no one here...I could have it towed, but to where? In those moments it hit me that I was completely and utterly alone. My mind ticked off all the people I knew, and all of them were at least a hundred miles away...I might live in a city, but I might as well live in Siberia, for all the good it does me.
I called Brian, hoping he could give me some idea as to what might be happening, or in this case not happening....as it turned out he was up on a roof, and would have to call me back....
After hanging up, I wanted to cry. But, I have no tears this morning...fresh out. I just have this ache in my heart that makes me feel so melancholy....here I am with the hood up, staring at my engine, as if I thought I could discern what might be wrong....It's at this point I decide to "nut up or shut up" I get back in the jeep and pump the gas, and turn the key...after many attempts, my jeep shuddering and several times just nearly turning over, I give it a rest. I heard it make a popping sound, and maybe even backfire, but still the engine didn't roar as it usually does...
I am at a loss, I again go out and look at the engine, and underneath it--it all looks dry...nothing dripping.....(this is my whole examining procedure...gaze at the engine then look at the ground.)..I am half a second from getting out the little book that came with the jeep to see if maybe there is some kind of "what to do if your engine does not start" index, (this is how desperate I have become).....sitting in the driver's seat, rummaging in the glove compartment, I decide to try again...each turn makes my jeep cough, sputter, and nearly start, which gives me hope. I give it a rest and try again, this time pumping the gas like a fiend....and it ignites! Yes!!! sputtering, it catches, and giving more gas it begins to run....I sigh...my jeep is working. I leave the engine running for awhile, and sit enjoying the sound....
I am at a loss, I again go out and look at the engine, and underneath it--it all looks dry...nothing dripping.....(this is my whole examining procedure...gaze at the engine then look at the ground.)..I am half a second from getting out the little book that came with the jeep to see if maybe there is some kind of "what to do if your engine does not start" index, (this is how desperate I have become).....sitting in the driver's seat, rummaging in the glove compartment, I decide to try again...each turn makes my jeep cough, sputter, and nearly start, which gives me hope. I give it a rest and try again, this time pumping the gas like a fiend....and it ignites! Yes!!! sputtering, it catches, and giving more gas it begins to run....I sigh...my jeep is working. I leave the engine running for awhile, and sit enjoying the sound....
Brian called me back, and told me from my description, it may have been that my distributor cap was damp, and this kept my jeep from starting--that's why there was a backfire....So, I learned something....I learned about damp distributors caps...I also learned that I have to be self sufficient...that I don't have someone to turn to--just me. I don't know that I necessarily like that. It's good to know that I can take care of myself, I always have...but some part of me yearns to not always feel so alone.Sigh....I am wrestling with something I guess....
"this too shall pass".
October 14, 2009
Strength Through Affirmations
Aquarius Daily Horoscope Your determination to be strong and steady in difficult situations could make it easier for you to cope with any problems that might arise today. Being aware of the fact that difficulties will surface at any time in life may allow you to go with the flow and accept the things that happen as simply part of the process of life. Should you come across any obstacles today, you might consider trying a simple affirmation—a few words to repeat mentally—that can give you the strength and patience to weather them. Affirmations such as “This is only temporary” or “Everything has its purpose” might help you realize that whatever you experience, no matter how uncomfortable, has meaning and can be opportunities for growth.
Affirmations are wonderful tools to help us cope with the glitches life throws our way. Not only do they remind us that our situation is not permanent but they also enable us to train our minds to take a more positive perspective about what is happening to us. As we keep our minds busy with our words or phrases, we free ourselves from our worries and are then able to use our energy to remain steadfast and patient with everything that arises. We begin to see everything as a process instead of a series of isolated events. Using affirmations today will let you see that nothing is ever the same and will help you find the strength to deal with your life with a positive frame of mind.
Aquarius Daily Horoscope Your determination to be strong and steady in difficult situations could make it easier for you to cope with any problems that might arise today. Being aware of the fact that difficulties will surface at any time in life may allow you to go with the flow and accept the things that happen as simply part of the process of life. Should you come across any obstacles today, you might consider trying a simple affirmation—a few words to repeat mentally—that can give you the strength and patience to weather them. Affirmations such as “This is only temporary” or “Everything has its purpose” might help you realize that whatever you experience, no matter how uncomfortable, has meaning and can be opportunities for growth.
Affirmations are wonderful tools to help us cope with the glitches life throws our way. Not only do they remind us that our situation is not permanent but they also enable us to train our minds to take a more positive perspective about what is happening to us. As we keep our minds busy with our words or phrases, we free ourselves from our worries and are then able to use our energy to remain steadfast and patient with everything that arises. We begin to see everything as a process instead of a series of isolated events. Using affirmations today will let you see that nothing is ever the same and will help you find the strength to deal with your life with a positive frame of mind.
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